[Previously posted on MySpace]
Just when you think its safe to crawl out from underneath the blankets and face the world.. just when you've swallowed down your last pill of regret and bitten off the disgrace of long-lost memories, of emotions, of raw animal instinct.. just when you think the past is really that -- the past...It suddenly comes and punches you right in the solar-plexus, doubling you over and kicking you again when you're down.
The very idea of moving forwards .. of going onwards and upwards into the happiness life has to offer .. of being one with self and one with the world around......... how can something seemingly so simple, suddenly be so very impossible, just from seeing a PICTURE?!
They've always said a picture is worth a thousand words -- but this picture only filled me with a thousand questions... I have no right to any of the answers, but I want them .. I want them ... I want them all .. and I'll always want him.
I'm going to try to move past this moment of the past..
This is a poem I wrote once, when I needed a hand up .. maybe it can help me again now ......
reflections from within
slowly fade to mind
what was said is said,
and what was done, done.
the past is but a monster
creeping out to attack us
the future is yet untold
laid ahead before us
the uncertainty that finds us
on our daily venture
is bountiful and true
if only we can grasp it
with our human hands
and lead ourselves
not into temptation
but forward yet to stand.9:52p EST 05/31/01
