Sometimes it just feels silly that I'm such a mess -- that I can't let go of the psychosis-like thoughts that haunt my days and fill my nightmares. Other times it feels stupid that I could ever slip into this faux reality and believe it to be all there is...
Mostly I just want to cry because I can't make anything better. Not me, and most certainly not Kyla. I love her and I want the best for her but I can't seem to be who/what I need to be to make that happen.
I am not happy.
Being in this relationship with Phil is taking more than giving to me. How do I get out? :(
