Eighth - "I never thought I'd be making this addition!"

The next saga... Tuesday morning.

We'd been in contact on and off for the last year. He came by my place once, so I could give him "the bottle" (an inside joke, of sorts, about a Gatorade bottle) and I literally had to sit on my hands to keep from touching him. If anything was going to happen, it had to come from him, because he was the one with a reason not to -- his girlfriend. We chatted in his car, in my drive-way, for maybe a half hour and I think had I stayed in that car a minute longer, we might very well have ended up crossing that line. But I could tell even though his body-language said he wanted to, his heart said he didn't want to. I leaned over and kissed him hard on the mouth, quickly -- he didn't really return it, likely too shocked it had even happened, and in the same motion that I pulled back, I opened the car door and exited the vehicle. He drove away and we were both sure this was the end to our playing with fire.

This was back in November of '05 maybe?

Recently, we'd been talking online a bit and he had mentioned that his girl wasn't likely to ever give him head and that he missed it so much. I, of course, said he knew where he could come get it any time he wanted. He complained that she'd been through a lot of emotional stuff lately and that he hadn't even had any form of sex in a while. I thought to myself that the relationship must be strong for him to last through the denial of services, and I felt guilt as I told him, again, he knew where he could get it.

My reactions to this guy confuse me a little. I know I harbor feelings of some form for him -- I was ready to date him happily a year ago. I know that will never happen and I hold no illusions of "one day!" .. but the fact of my life is -- I don't cheat. I don't mess around with married men and I don't mess around with people in non-open relationships. So why am I so ready to do it with this one? Is it just because we have a history together? I think somehow it's more than that. The sex between him and I is mind-blowing. No one eats my ass the way he does, with such vigor. No one fucks my ass as good as he does. Oh ghawd it is GOOD. And I have never enjoyed sucking a cock as much as his. I mean, really and truly, in all the relationships -- emotional or physical, I have never ever enjoyed sucking a cock as much as I enjoy his. His cock is the perfect size and shape. I love the way it feels in my mouth. I love the way he responds to my ministrations, and I love above LOVE looking up and seeing him smile as he watches me flickering the tip of my tongue across the head of his cock. If I never sucked another cock but his for the rest of my life, I'd be happy.

Which leads me up to the recent events.

He msg'd me last night online, with comments about needing a blowjob and I told him to come over tonight and he said he would. This morning he got online and I told him I had an hour and a half free in a little bit, and he could come today AND tonight. He said he'd be here.

I was nervous, but excited.

I have been waiting a year for this to happen. I have wanted his cock for a year. I never ever thought I'd get to wrap my lips around it again. I was wrong.

He showed up at my place at the appointed time and I lead him into the livingroom. I could tell he was nervous, but almost immediately my hand flew to his cock. I didn't want him here for friendly conversation, I knew exactly what he was here for. I told him to sit and I rubbed his cock through his jeans and made sexy eyes at him. He told me he'd forgotten how sexy I was and I loved it. He was already getting hard and I bent forward and bit at his cock through his jeans, he groaned, he loved it. I asked him to let me in and that was all it took for his jeans and boxers to be history.

I started at his balls and suckled them into my mouth, swirling my tongue around. I moved upwards slightly and nipped and sucked at the base of his hardness. I ran my tongue lazily along the length of his cock. I wasn't quite ready to slide him into my mouth; that could wait a bit. I licked and flickered my tongue all over his hard cock. I looked up at him as he moaned his approval. I love this cock. I had missed it more than I could ever have the words to express.

Slowly I slid him into my mouth, making eye contact with him. He has always been a considerate partner and held my hair out of my face so he could watch me swallow his cock deep. I bobbed my head and swished my tongue and I knew it was exactly what he'd been missing.

I continued sucking his cock, running my hand up and down the base, letting my saliva drool all down his length, wetting him and slicking him up for something new. Although I've given him many blowjobs in the past, I had a new trick for him. Like I've mentioned before in this story, his cock has a wicked curve to it and I've always had trouble getting it down my throat. Last night I had a new partner who helped me lose most of my gag-reflex and today I was going to put it to the test. I buried my face into his crotch, his cock, curve and all, sliding deep into my throat. He moaned in a way I hadn't heard before. I knew he appreciated the new-found skill and I knew he wanted more!!

This went on for a half hour. I sucked and teased and licked and deep-throated his cock. I loved it. I was impressed that he didn't cum. He said he didn't want it to end. Neither did I!

Around this point, he started playing with my breasts through my shirt. After some more attention to his cock, he pushed me back slightly and helped me out of my shirt -- I had still been fully clothed. He immediately went to my breasts, suckling my nipples. I loved it. I love looking down and seeing his mouth on my breasts. I jerked his cock for him while he played with my breasts. I bent down and wet his cock and then wrapped my ample cleavage around his cock and slid up and down a few times. I'm never sure what titty-fucking feels like to guys and I never get any kind of pleasure from it, so it isn't something I continued for long. I went back to sucking his cock and we alternated between me giving him head and him playing with my breasts.

After a bit more of this he pushed me back again and told me to stand up. He told me to turn around. He pulled my pants down and I kicked them off. He told me to bend over. I saw him wrap his hand around his cock and I bent over and he buried his tongue in my sweet ass. Oh my ghawd. Oh wow!

Nothing ever feels as good as his tongue in my ass. He jerked his cock and tongued my ass and I moaned and groaned my approval. I loved it. I could hardly take it. His tongue felt divine, flickering at my asshole. He let go of his cock and spread my ass cheeks further and really went at it. I was feeling light-headed and fell forward further, out of breath.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said.

He was probably right. He asked if I was going to make him cum now. I told him he could cum in my ass. In the same breath he told me I was a terrible influence on him, he asked me where the lube was. I raced to my backpack and grabbed it.

He lubed up his cock and then lubed up my ass, sliding first one and then a second finger into me. I love the way he fingers my ass. I could let him do that all day. I could suck his cock all day, but the way he plays with my ass, with his tongue or his fingers, makes me forget all about his cock. I didn't want to forget this time and I told him to fuck my ass. He obliged.

He gripped his cock with one hand and slid it deep into my ass, just slow enough to allow me to get accustomed to it. Then he gave me a few full strokes before pulling out and ramming it into my ass. He fucks my ass so fast. I love it, I love how long he lasts. I love his balls swinging and hitting my sopping wet pussy as his cock slides into my ass.

He fucked me hard into the ground before he came in my ass. He stayed joined with my ass perfectly so. My muscles flexed around his softening cock. Almost a full minute he stayed, just like he should. Guys pulling out right after they cum is the worst. I love that full feeling. I loved his cock in my ass, even if it wasn't stroking it.

He finally pulled out and headed to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, this is where everything turned sour.

He stayed in the bathroom cleaning up for several minutes, with the door closed. I slipped my panties and shirt back on. When he came out I asked him what time he would be back tonight? I wanted him to know that I loved it and that I wanted more.

I already knew from the look on his face as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"This was a mistake."

As he dressed he spoke, more to himself, declaring his official title as an asshole. He said he was going to leave and I let him. I didn't know what to say. It is his life, his guilt, his choices. He walked to the door, I walked him there and he left.

I had to get dressed and go pick my daughter up from school.

When I got home and she was napping, I decided to write him an email before sitting down to write this story.

I'm going to attach an exact copy of that email to the bottom of this story. Tell me if you agree with me or not.

---

From : Shiloh Jennings [ytrbt@hotmail.com]
Sent : April 25, 2006 1:03:53 PM
To : xxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Subject : Today.

y'know .. I've been thinking, about your moral issue and guilt... because, of course, I'm not inhuman, and if you're upset, then I care. I look at it like this... I tried to get you off for a good half hour w/ my mouth and I was tired at that point... I let you take any further steps beyond head if that was where you wanted to go, and you did -- you removed my shirt, you removed my pants.. and you, in the same breath as saying "you're an evil influence on me." said "where's the lube?" .... HOWEVER! all that being what it is -- I'm not trying to make you feel MORE guilty, the point of this is ...
its just sex.
you know me. we have a history together. you already know you're not going to suddenly fall in love with me. you were able to deny the amazing sex we have together for a year, so you know if you have to, you can... but why should you? it is safe fun. there is no chance you'll up and leave your girl for me, because all you have with me is sex, not whatever connection you have with her. It isn't a blurred edge between getting head and fucking -- there just isn't any line to cross -- it's all some form of sex. she doesn't want to ever find out about the head, so she wouldn't ever find out about the sex. she's given you permission to go seek the head -- so I think you should. and I think you should with me. and often.
like I said -- it's not like I'm a risk -- that's where the major guilt generally lies in "cheating" .. that the original relationship will be left for the new-found partner. that's not an issue between us because you're not interested in me for more than sex -- and I am okay with that.
so why feel guilty? .. there's no moral issue about it -- when you are being denied at home, you should be able to seek it elsewhere, and I welcome you to receive it from me whenever you like, so long as it won't ever be found out by your girl.
no?

---

oh well. That's it. I guess I'll see if he responds. If there is more to this story, be sure you'll hear about it!! :)

I LOVED his cock today! YUM! I'm only mildly sad he didn't get to cum down my throat. :) :)

its official -- I AM SUPERMOM!

To set the scene: it is pouring rain, so much that the drops hitting the roof of my car are near deafening from inside.. my daughter has fallen asleep -- how she could with the noise, I'm not sure, but it was only slight rain and took a gradual course to the massive volume it is now, during our drive home, conveniently only reaching its full strength as I pull into my parking spot!

I sit for a moment, gather things up that need to come into the house, consolidating what can be, and then sit again, listening to the down-pour and wondering if it will let up any time soon. It seems to dim down the intensity for a moment, but then picks up again. The thoughts race through my head -- I _do_ have a large umbrella .. in the "boot" of the car, I am in the front (its a Ford Explorer, I have access to the "boot") .. can I manage two bags, an umbrella and a sleeping child -- not only TO the door, but also through locked doors requiring key-turn access and up three flights of stairs...... Sure, why not! :)

I climb up the back of my seat and brace myself across the front and back seats (I'm 5'10" .. I have a pretty long figure and reach!) and search the rear section for the well-hidden, deeply ensnared umbrella, extricate it from the confines and huff and puff my way back to my seat -- if she could sleep through the noise the rain was making, the small grunts and slight shaking of the car certainly didn't faze my sleeping child.

I again ponder the actuality of this next maneuver, as well as the sanity of it, but the rain just doesn't seem like its going anywhere, and when it sounds to taper off a bit, I open my door, instantly wet from the top down, and open the umbrella. I gather my belongings, ensuring my keys are easily accessible through an open pocket on my left and go to head around the car... the rear way walk around is flooded with puddles, so I turn and go around the front.

Now for the tricky part! Thank goodness the rain is coming mostly straight down, without much of a wind and I am able to open my daughter's passenger-side rear door to balance the umbrella between the door and the roof, anchored against my shoulder. I also shoulder the bags and gingerly extract my sleeping child from her car-seat, breathing words of reassurance to her that it is alllll okay. She makes it to my free shoulder and snuggles in.

I lock the door, grasp the umbrella and head up the pathway towards that apartment entry-way. Half-way there, of course, one of her rubber boots falls from her slumber-slack foot. Now what? Well, now there's only one option. I get a better hold on her sleeping form, cradle the umbrella with my other arm, pinning my elbow against my side so the bags wont fall from my shoulder, and drop to one suddenly very wet knee on the pavement. I scoop up the lost boot and remove the other one so as not to have to repeat the process a second time, lift us all back up to my feet and head, again, towards the front door.

We make it and I feel a moment of panic (but only a moment, folks! The words "Don't Panic" are engraved deeply on my soul!) as I wonder how exactly I'm going to take this very large umbrella through the front door with me, without any free hands? (I am now, of course, carrying a sleeping child over my right shoulder, supporting her with my right hand, two uselessly zippered-closed bags over my left shoulder, carrying rubber boots and an umbrella in my left hand.) I use the fingers of my left hand to open the door and attempt a short-lived moment of brute force entry, but not wanting to cause any actual damage to the umbrella, I give this up and instead let go of the handle, walking my body through the doorway and am amazed that the umbrella is sturdy enough to hold the heavy door open as it is caught in the entrance, and relieved, as well, that it doesn't fall back towards the outside of the building or blow away.

I walk into the space between the two front doors (as an aside, I've always thought of this space akin to Purgatory .. feel free to ask me about this at a later date if you like!) and set the bags and boots on a conveniently placed newspaper stand, and turn to deal with the act of re-angling the umbrella through the doorway to bring it in with me, and then close the device, all with one hand, then remove my keys from the previously planned out easy-access pocket, open the inner door, re-pocket the keys, re-assume my load and pass through with my still-sleeping daughter. Phewf!

I climb the three flights of stairs, dump my load outside my apartment door (my belongings! not my daughter! c'mon guys!!) I access the keys again, letting myself into my sanctuary, leave the door slightly ajar and the articles on the floor as I carry my daughter inside, discarding my wet shoes at the entrance, and lovingly place her into her bed, removing her still-dry coat and soothing her under a blanket.

I head back to gather my things, remove my slightly-wet coat and close and lock the front door.

I cannot tell you how incredibly empowering it feels, as a single mother, with so many awkward moments of living in an apartment (oooh, for example, say.. how does one carry multiple bags of groceries and a sleeping child through the same routine?? -- answer: one doesn't!) to be able to achieve this seemingly simple task of bringing my daughter in, still sleeping, through the pouring rain.

Sorry for the long-winded entry. *blush* I guess I'm just in a writing mood!

Spring has arrived! Please bring me some flowers mistah mistah rainclouds!