The top of this page says it was for Alex ... (who the heck is Alex? did I date an Alex when I was 17?! I don't remember an Alex! The only Alex I can remember from back then is tic-tock .. but I don't remember us connecting?!@# oh memories, how you fail me some 18 years later!)
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I lay here, on my stomach, and try to write. I go through page after page, and nothing really comes. I know what I want to write about and I know how I want it to end up, but I don't know how to get from here to there.
one fish
two fish
Red fish
blue fish.
Why can't it be that simple? Why can't I just write and have words, great big important words, just drift into my head and arrange themselves as they flow out of my pen? Why does it have to be so hard for me to say anything? Everyone says I have a wonderful way with words, but suddenly I feel stooopid. I totally lack the sense of diction.
All I want to do is make love to you with my poetry. I want to impress you and knock you off your feet. I know you already love me, but god-damnit, I still want to do this for you, because you deserve it! AARRRGHHH!!!!
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[post-script ... oh wow ... ALEX! I lived in DC for a summer with Alex .. what the hell, "did I date an Alex when I was 17?" .. yes, yes I did! Alex was pretty fucking amazing. I was kinda of a self-absorbed twat back then ..... but he loved me anyhow..... oh Alex!]
