I am currently participating in a 10 week trust group called "All Roses Have Thorns -- Exploring the Truth About Trust"... The activity we did last night looked at the elements I would require for a relationship to move forwards with... I thought I'd share some of those here, in no particular order:
- transparency
- safety
- comfort
- vulnerability
- reliability
- communication
- consistency
- honesty
- patience
- laughter
- positive energy
- clarity/understanding
- healthy boundaries
... and, of course, this would lead to the building of trust!
Are there any that stick out for you?
I've had trust broken in so many ways over my life. I think I often hide behind the cleverest of walls -- a glass one.
Growing up in an abusive household, I learned at an early age how important it was to keep myself safe, to protect my hopes and dreams from being trampled upon (sometimes quite literally)... but I am also a very enigmatic, charismatic, bubbly sort of person -- I LIKE to connect with people.... and the best way I could put up a wall to protect myself and still appear as though I was letting people in (even though I never truly was!) was to build a _glass_ wall (different from a window) so that I was safe on my side, but I could show everyone what they needed/wanted to see of me in order to form a bond, or make the connection. Only, at some point, without my realizing it, I became much like a caged animal in a zoo. On display, but never truly connecting with those on the other side ... never truly trusting enough to let anyone through -- but convincing myself that I was doing enough of my part by baring all....
I am slowly learning to disassemble that wall... carefully .. pane by pane ... and one day I hope I'll find people who value and respect me enough to allow me to be vulnerable and take baby steps towards learning what it means to trust.
For now.... I am still hesitant, but hopeful.
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