I've been sharing a lot of OTHER people's thoughts/work/writing on here .. part of that is because I don't want to lose it -- I don't want to just link to it and wake up one morning and the links be dead ...
.. part of it is because I feel a little lost inside my own head, and don't really know what to write ...
... part of it is because I'm afraid of what I've been thinking and putting pen to paper, or digital blip to the world will make it all very real .....
.... and a large part of it is not finding the time to sit down and sort out my thoughts in cohesive word form .......... it's all just jumbled in there and it takes so much EFFORT to make it make sense, for myself or others ....
I want to. I want to sort it out -- mostly for me, not for you!
I feel like I'm tipping the scales towards a truer, more authentic me ... in so many ways in my life .. finally being the me I've always wanted to be -- the me I'm excited to be in both my private AND public life ....
I know I owe a lot of that to someone I lost half a year ago ... and I know I have a hard time thinking about him still ..... I know I couldn't be where I am now without the freedom he gifted me ... without the unconditional love and acceptance we found together.
I'm apprehensive about opening myself completely to something like that again .. but sometimes it finds you when you're least expecting it?
Lately hasn't felt like it's made a lot of sense, but it's felt okay and real and like true progress is happening ....... I think I'm pretty good with lately :)
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