poetry in the making...

[previously posted on xanga]

"I got shot today" what a careful web of deceptions our society weaves upon itself ... the strong and the mighty can be found hiding in the dark and the weak and feable minded carrying the guns trickery and deceit of ones own intelligence .. to make stronger by climbing on the backs of others only to fall in the final hour with understanding of all that is wrong. it matches itself throughout the generations and none have learned to open thine arms and embrace your brother from across the battle lines drawn so carefully upon the sands of time...

visionaries......

[previously posted on xanga]

(pardon my sharing of this with the world, if you will?)

"for all the earths weight in gold .. for the china that fell when the wall was built .. for the final swing of the pendulum .. for the softest touch between two lovers and for the coin that wasn't head nor tales ... I see you" 
9:20p 07/15/03

The Things That Irk Me:

[previously posted on xanga]

• not being able to single-space in this li'l window here.. grr.. ;)

• being alive

• having feelings

• being restricted by language when trying to express my feelings to others

• being overweight and funny-looking and knowing that as much as I shudn't care about the fckheads who judge me on that, I still do... :/

• not being able to read TOC's mind

• government (ha!) and society (double-ha!)

• bugs (insect and technological)

• my waste-of-oxygen roommate

• lists that were meant to be short but somehow ended up longer the more I thot about them and cudn't quite quit typing!!!!!!!!!

and out of the days of yore she wandered

[from casstastrophe.com blog]

 

 

 

I haven't quite gauged which way is up.. if direction is even possible in the centrifugal universe we call existence ... I've moved.. again .. to Guelph, its great, it really is .. I just don't know what to do with myself, with my thoughts, with my feelings for people who are out of my reach, for people who are out of my realm, and for those who are in my daily life... 

I'm sad.. I'm scared.. I'm paranoid and cranky .. and I'm not even high! I am actually drug-free .. (with the exception of clove cigarettes!) .. no prescription drugs .. no street drugs .. no drugs .. and yet .. yet .. I'm still sad, I'm still scared.. and I'm incredibly lonely... I wish my cat spoke human, or I spoke cat better than I pretend to ... :( 

where do I turn to for the questions to all the answers floating through my head like cruise-ships for the mentally restrained? 

(continued!!)

[previously posted on xanga] blankness bothers me in ways I only wish I had words to describe -- because then I wouldn't feel at such a loss.. but this page.. this new "xanga"thang .. is blank and dark and.. and.. I havnt any words to fill it with, but I feel the URGE .. the inner NEED to keep writing these little ity bity pixels to fill the sheer and utter blankness that is this page........... does that bother you?

a beginning....

[previously posted on xanga] ..and I arrived.. by means of a databyte, whatever THAT is .. but I'm here and I think I'll stay for a while.. I'll take my shoes off and see how the sand feels on my toes .... ahh, toes .. can I type with my toes? notyetisay... but soon, soon things will happen and I'll do the things I'd never thought impossible 'til they occured to my fractured imagination... ..where am I?  what am I doing here?  did he beckon me or did I dive in head first, forgetting to break the surface of the water with my hands and knocking myself out in the process? ......yes, I'm here..... will you stay?

Metalli-fucking-ca!!! July 5 Summer Sanitarum TOUR!

[from casstastrophe.com blog]

well.. I'll start by saying that Metallica was fckn incredible .. they played an awesome set .. certainly topped the evening off .. but I have to admit, I think the Deftones really stole the show (at least, for me!) 

the night started at 3pm with MUDVAYNE and it just didnt stop rocking! Deftones, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, and finally at 10:30pm Metallica!!

I have to admit, I had myself a nice li'l trip from all the second-hand smoke.. but I survived it (hahah!) and I'm here to talk about it!! -- SOOO much has happend for me in the last month that I dont even know where to begin, so I wont, and I'll come back to all that much much later! For now - keep on rockin' and write me some e-mail to let me know you're still reading this site, and I'll update it! :)