Love. What a word. I wonder if I'll ever really find it. I know that I love pretty much everyone that enters my life to some degree of the word, but I never really know how they feel about me.
Because I love everyone in some way, there is always a chance that that love will blossom into something bigger and better.
There often seems to be about two or three guys out there who tell me they love me, but I've stopped believing them fully because I have been screwed around by so many people that I don't know what to think any more.
I have had many relationships, but none of them ever seem to work out. My very first relationship was in grade one. The next one didn't come until grade 6. From then on I have spent little time out of relationships.
There have been 11 guys in my life, 10 of which have been since '92. I have been "going-out" with a guy for 167 days now. In the beginning we talked on the phone a lot (since he goes to a different school) and got together at local parties, etc, but have since stopped talking often, and have never actually been on a date with him. (This Friday we are going out to the movies.)
Righ now there are 6 guys in my life who have told me they love me. I don't think that some of them know the meaning of the word.
As for marriage...
I don't know if I could spend the rest of my life with one person. I know for sure that I would probably flirt constantly with other guys, even if I were married, but I am a very insecure person and would always think that there must be someone better for the person I am with.
Besides, I have not had a friendship that has lasted more than 4 years and the person who I am friends with (the 4 year one) is beginning to annoy me royally.
Oh well, I'm only 14, so there's hope for me and love and marriage yet.
Signed Cass Henry.
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