A Humantra

ORIGINAL: Janurary 24, 2012

I am strong, beautiful, intelligent and capable.

I trust myself. I listen to my own wisdom.

I surround myself with people who encourage me in the intentions I set for myself.

I accomplish what I put my mind to because I believe in my own abilities.

I am worthy.

I respect myself.

I allow myself to take on only what I can handle at any given time.

I give myself permission to be happy.

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UPDATED: March 23, 2015

A Humantra

I am strong.

I am capable.

I am beautiful.

I am intelligent.

I trust myself.

I listen to my own wisdom.

I surround myself with people who encourage me 

in the intentions I set for myself.

I accomplish what I put my mind to because 

I believe in my own abilities.

I allow myself to take on only what I can 

handle at any given time.

I give myself permission to be happy.

I respect myself.

I am worthy.

I am enough.

I am.

.

SOPA?

Back in early 2000 I had the fortune of providing temporary hosting for a website called daterape.org.  If you google the quoted "daterape.org" you can read some of the controversy that went around the globe in discussing this site.

(for quick-access, here are two differing views:
http://www.wired.com/politics/law/news/2000/03/34941
http://www.fitug.de/debate/0003/msg00737.html
I'd like you to take particular note of the second link)

For my part, I believed the website to be a satire.

sat·ire noun  /ˈsaˌtīr/     The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues

It was SO over the top and in your face, how anyone could see it as something other than satire is mind-boggling to me.  The first link up there gives you a pretty good idea of what was on the site.  But it fails to mention some of the other things on the site -- like, directions to boys on their first date, including, for example, how to dismantle the inside of the car door handle so that it will open only from the outside. This one was a complete shocker to me! I had been on many internet dates, as I was twenty years old in the year 2000, but I had never in my wildest dreams conjured up the idea that I should check that the car I am getting into could be opened from the inside, after I was in -- I just assumed this was a given.

This website, from its first 500 viewers, managed to garner national and eventually global attention.  What were people talking about? Several issues -- many of them were talking about the disgusting nature of the website, others were talking about freedom of speech on the internet, but one thing was being discussed that generally got very little air time: date rape.

Unfortunately, no matter the campaigns in high school, date rape is still extremely under reported,  even though statistics show that it occurs frequently. According to safecity.ca a 1993  survey of female undergraduates at Canadian universities reported that "four out of five women said that they had been victims of violence in a relationship".  That is 80% of the female populous, without taking into account men or same-sex partnerships.

This was just seven years before the 2000 website daterape.org came online.  Who was daterape.org educating about the realities of daterape? Was it the offenders? Because with a pervasive influence such as 4 out of 5, it seems to me like the abusers already had it under control. But the victims? The victims could certainly use some widely spread information that the abusers already knew. Some insider notes, so to speak.

It is 2012 and you may be asking, why am I bringing up such an odd story from over a decade ago and how does this really relate to SOPA?  This daterape.org incident is just one of many. It happens to be one I was personally involved in and so I can speak to it directly.   The SOPA bill, in its transparency, fails to be simply about online piracy. Its title "To promote prosperity, creativity, entrepreneurship, and innovation by combating the theft of U.S. property, and for other purposes." already tosses in the 'other purposes' clause.  The first wave of internet censorship is not a solitary wave -- it will be followed by many more and potentially a tidal wave that cripples internet uses entirely.

If free speech and expression are no longer allowed on the internet, where will we turn?

A site like daterape.org is controversial -- but sometimes it takes a controversy to wake up the  masses and get them talking about real issues. Date rape is a big issue that gets brushed under the rug far too often. Free speech on the internet is one that keeps getting set aside and its proponents are wide and varied. Some feel that free speech is just a given -- why are we fighting, we can't actually ever LOSE that right, can we? And others feel that H.R. 3261 or S. 968 are about business, they don't have anything to do with free speech.

It has been said, if you lose all your other rights, it is with free speech that you can win them back, conversely, without free speech you will lose all your other rights.

I invite people to get informed and be active about which side you are on.

I know me, but I don't know you, do you know me?

I am the expert of my own experience.

People often get into discussions with me on various topics, and I bring it to a personal level about my life and how that topic effects/works with my own experience. And then they say "I wasn't talking about you!" .. but the thing is, I can't talk in sweeping generalities because I have not lived those lives. I am talking to what I know. I think I am the one speaking to the best of the topic, by speaking my experiences, while the other complaining party is the one who is playing god somehow, as though THEY know what other people have lived or felt ....

Unless you walk a mile in my shoes, or their shoes, who are you to know what I've lived? So stop talking about your perception of other people, and talk about YOU!  Maybe it gets to you because _I_ have actually lived a life, done things, been places, met people ... while most people live in their own little safe circle of existence, afraid to do more than throw words of hate outside the thin barrier of protection that familiarity offers.

Or maybe I'm just self-centered.  *shrug*

I assure you, this is a love song:

ain't nothing i can't do
so long as i got you
here on my side
along for the ride

baby maybe i can't pay the electricity this month
and the cell phone bills are piling a mile high
i don't know what I'm making for dinner
the cupboard's nearly bare
but as long as I got your love
I'll find some way to get us there
cuz when you're with me I feel like I'm the winner
like I've got time to do everything I need before I die
baby what we've got is one in a millionth.

so the economy is crumbling around us
and freedom of speech, freedom of expression, they're all a farce
the government owns us, every hour, every penny, every breath
I can't buy our daughter a new pair of shoes
I can't afford to fill the gas tank all the way
I have to forego fresh vegetables and instead eat kraft dinner
but hey, at least we've got a food bank
hey, at least we've got a roof over our heads
hey, at least we've got bills to worry about
rather than war and famine

I wanted to buy you that music board you've be longing for
I wanted to put it under the christmas tree
but then the struts and mounts (whatever they are) stopped
strutting and mounting their stuff
now I know all I've got to give you are my words
not even two coins to rub together
I'll be paying it off into the summer

but as long as I've got your love
I know I can pull through some how
I know I'll always have a smile and not a frown

when you couldn't find a job I thought I'd go crazy
when you were working shit temp work for shit pay
I thought I'd lose my mind, cuz you were in the most unsafe places
I worried you would die for ten twenty-five an hour

and I loved you harder and longer on the days you worked over time
not because we needed the money
but because I missed you more, and I knew you'd be sore when you got home

as long as I've got you I can excuse myself
for not going to occupy everything, occupy anything
as long as you're by my side it doesn't really matter
that I didn't vote cuz I didn't think it'd change anything

somewhere out there is my ideal society, but this one just doesn't cut it
so long as I have you, I can survive it

cuz what the fuck is the point, if I don't have you?

This is my Staying Power -- Occupy Everything!

If we don't occupy everything now -- what will there be left to occupy later??

The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights of Canadians in this country.  Section 1 of the charter states that these rights are "subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society."

The actions taken by the police during the 2010 G20 protests were anything but justified and they have shown to me that we do not actually live in a free society.

Section 2 of the Charter has to do with fundamental freedom including 2(b) "freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression"  while 2(c) states that everyone has the right to "freedom of peaceful assembly."

I envision that October 15th on Bay Street in Toronto, Ontario when people join forces to peacefully assemble and plan for Monday's Occupy Bay Street march, the police of this fine country will begin their battery of harassment and arrests.

This will be the second very public act of violence on the part of those sworn to protect citizens.

If this takes shape the way I imagine it will -- if the police do not allow a peaceful public protest by those who wish to exercise their Charter rights, then I think we shall all have a very strong message delivered loud and clear:  Canadian citizens have no rights and freedoms; this is a Police State.

----

At the heart of it -- why march?  The placard I saw that captures it best:

"Its only called class war when we fight back"

Bay Street (the Wall Street of Toronto) has been occupied by the over-paid chicly dressed employees of finance for so long they don't even know they're them and we're us.

We trade our time for money and they trade, trade, trade that money away.

The fallacy of what we call an "economy" has been built on mistruths and bogus statistics for so long that finally the house of cards blew over and now those Kings and Queens of the upper crust scrambled together, intent on making the divide between even wider.

The crux is -- everybody in the occupation is just looking for an occupation. A way to keep a roof over their head and some food in their belly.  When basic human rights are stripped away there's nothing left to lose and its time to rise up and fight back.

At least we live in a country where we are doing this with our voices and our words.  There are other places in the world where this is done with bullets and blood.

What must the government, the police, the rulers of our nation do to push the public to that point? If millions in the streets in American can be ignored, what will happen here?

As stated by a friend when discussing the matter "They don't think we can do it."  The fact is, those 1% sit in comfort and don't even begin to quake in their boots. They really don't think we have it in us to cause much of a ripple in the well-oiled machine they've been driving across us for so very long.

Apathy has kept us quiet. How long will we shout before we deem it necessary to fight back?  Because frankly, I don't see them listening to our bleating cries -- we've been sheep for such a very long, long, long time.

I know I'm not ready to take up more than a digital pen in this fight, but do you really want to "beat your plowshares into swords..."?

working-title?

traipsing through the daisies
sunlight slanting 'cross the path
albino bunny following
delaying his attack

...but the moon wont shine
when Alice falls down
only hearts and minds
can release her now

in the shadows it lurks
withdrawn at your gaze
chasing just to lead
drawing nearer the maze

diamonds and flowers surround
dizzying, overbearing contempt
Drink Me, Eat Me, promise to be
from danger and death exempt

...but the moon wont shine
when Alice falls down
only hearts and minds
can release her now

frozen in time and space
forever caught between
searching for the way home
unending horrific dream

expunge, deny, terrorize
always one step ahead
don't be off with hers
fertilizing the rose bed

[]*[] I Am Canadian []*[]

Recently I received an e-mail that tickled me exactly the WRONG way.  I'll post it first and then post my response below.  Please feel free to comment!! (I apologize ahead of time for some of the language I used in my response, but I'm fairly passionate about this -- it _is_ my country and my home!)

---
The original e-mail:

I am Canadian:  The new version...

I AM CANADIAN

I am in the minority in Calgary, Vancouver, Toronto, and every casino in this country.

I was born in the forties, fifties or sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people being screwed out of their land in the 1700's!

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

All the money I make until mid July must go to paying taxes.

I live and work among people who believe Americans are Ignorant...  These same people cannot name their own country's new territory.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on hamburgers and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate... Quebec still provides most of my nation's prime ministers.

95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.

I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I'm sure none of them have ever been to Africa for that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.

I am also being told that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my Grandfather gave me when I was 14, I  will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.

I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or even recognize the ENGLISH language.

I am being told that paying $1 million for 3 Stripes ('The Voice of Fire' painting in Ottawa) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pension and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say 'Oh well, at least we have better health care than the USA.'

I must bail out big corporations who drive their business into the ground and say, 'yeah that's ok.'
And when they move all their manufacturing plants and jobs to a third world country and say, 'no problem.'

I must fork over my portion of the 11.5 million dollars to show the Queen of England and her family a good time visiting in my country even though I can't afford to visit the province next to me.

My National Anthem has versions in both official languages.

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

The Lord's prayer is not allowed in our schools anymore because of other religions who chose to move here.

I am an angry white person.

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke.

I am Canadian !!

---
My response:

Yay! Being Canadian means something to me, what does it mean to YOU?

1) I was with you until you went and made yourself look ignorant by mentioning casinos .... way to go!

2) Cultural genocide happened as recently as 1936 in this country, and still continues in contemporary ways, maybe you should get a clue? [ let me point out a direction to start: http://www.danielnpaul.com/IndianResidentialSchools.html ] .. then there's always the great Japanese Canadian Internment .. which was a couple years later [ http://www.lib.washington.edu/subject/canada/internment/intro.html ] .. and did you know First Nation's people were only granted the right to vote sometime in the mid 60's ... ? I don't know what this 1700's BS you're talking about is, but get CURRENT!

3) ride a bike?

4) and how would you like to word this petition and have 10,000 people sign it "We the people do not want to be forced to wear a proven life-saving tool, instead, please hike our insurance rates to cover the extra health-care costs from our chosen stupidity.  We demand this RIGHT to choose."

5) Gee, if you exaggerate one point by this much, its not likely I'll ever think you will exaggerate any other points, right?!

6) I did a poll of the first 10 Canadians I could talk to readily at this moment: guess what, 10/10 could name Nunavut; guess you need some smarter friends.

7) living on hamburgers is a BAD thing? what? if you can afford some form of protein in your diet, you are eating better than damn near 7/8ths of the world's population! ... and who are you to suggest a new refugee is unskilled? The joke about surgeons and physicists driving taxi cabs in Calgary, Vancouver and Toronto is based in reality - our own government has made it financially improbably for a landed immigrant to port their previous education to our country -- perhaps we should point the finger where it belongs not outwards at those escaping life-threatening living conditions to a better future within our borders.

8) I'm assuming you see the irony in the point you're trying to make with this all on your own, no need for me to bring it to light.

9) and this is a BAD thing why?!!!

10) Since when are you supposed to? I've never met a dark-skinned person from Jamaica who enjoyed being called African Canadian ... perhaps it isn't anything to DO with being Canadian that makes this racial profiling an issue and maybe its a broader issue??

11) no one says you have to drink!

12) and no one says you have to drive!

13)  I'll have to research it later when I care more, but I'm fairly sure that firearms older than a certain number of years lie outside the registration laws?

14) Most nations of the world are trilingual, let alone bilingual .. do you not see it as beneficial to the children to learn French? psychological studies have shown that having at least two languages in the brain from an early age can enhance thinking power ....

15) I can't really argue this point, I think $1.8 million for two colours of acrylic is a little mind-boggling, too ... but then, it happened in _1989_ .. are you really still bitching about it??

16) It isn't just health care that is better (that we have it at all is part of it!) .. but we also have better public services across the board. Be thankful of them when you need to access them! and be gracious that you can provide them to those who need to when you don't!

17) If you feel this way - DO something! Don't sit around and write bad attempts at humour on the internets... get out and march in the streets and camp out on the front lawn of parliament hill, collect names, make a stink about it ... petition and lobby for change!

18) I dunno about you, but I imagine there are only so many Canadian Consulates around the world, but if you read the inside of your Canadian Passport, you'll see that bearers of the Canadian Passport have access to every British Consulate the world throughout.  I wonder if that's worth 11.5 million? I venture that this is off the top of my head, I'm pretty sure there are one or two other perks that come with out connection to the British "Empire" ... you tell me?

19) This is great, actually. I know it in both -- do you?

20) wait, say that again, Canada is taxed more than the USA and Mexico? really, that's a staggering statistic. I never would have fathomed it in my life. (do I need a sarcasm tag here, or can you hear it loud enough over there?)

21) Ever hear of a guy named Darwin? Don't worry, I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't. Public schools are non-religious based. Send your kid to a secular school if you want -- you aren't _forced_ to send them to public schools.  Besides all of that, the immigrants (you, me, everyone else non-Indigenous) brought the Church to Canada in the first place. Do you know anything about the Medicine Wheel or any other spiritual practice other than Catholicism? Perhaps you should look at _why_ it is no longer spoken in schools, as opposed to hate-mongering on immigrants?

22) Ignorance has a tendency to leave one feeling angry. Get informed!

23) taxes are not the enemy, uninformed voters are! Get informed! Fight the regime :)

I Am Canadian, too .. and I'm damn proud of my country. Now if only we can band together and MAKE something of it, rather than mock it!